Supermodel Life Coach

(My 10-minute session with Christy Turlington)

I met supermodel Christy Turlington at a SXSW event last March. I listened to her speak on a panel advocating for maternal health rights and was struck by her message. Having survived a complicated birthing experience with my son, and knowing the terrifying realities narrated by maternal health statistics, her story resonated with me. Nervous, but working to hide it behind a glass of red wine, I approached her after the session to say hello.

Standing 5’8 (and a half!) I’m a pretty tall person. But standing next to this 90s fashion icon for a few moments in the Austin heat I felt downright childlike in stature. Staring into the sun to say hello, introducing myself was a literal prompt from the universe to keep my chin up. And I did! I asked Christy if she’d be interested in sharing about Every Mother Counts with us on the Reframeables podcast. To my surprise, she said “Sure!” Then she promptly introduced me to her agent and left the two of us to work out the details.

Spoiler: Christy has not yet come on the podcast (though we’d still love to have her!). Schedules (and a big AppleTV documentary) have foiled those plans. But I learned a lot about myself in our short interaction at that party which is perhaps more important in the long run. In that space of curated picnic tables and faux lawn carpets she took on a dual role for me, both “good enough mother” and “good enough teacher” rolled into one. 

Life coach lesson #1

This wasn’t her party, but Christy worked that room like the host I want to be when I grow up — connecting people, facilitating, energizing those around her, all while keeping boundaries in place so as not to lose herself in the mix.

Here’s an example of what I mean: Because I had said “hello,” and in my mind we were now “friends,” I approached her again to ask the name of the tall man she had just taken a picture with. “Christy,” I said with unearned familiarity (red wine will do that!), “Did he play for the Raptors?” Did she officially introduce us? No. But she did help me place his name and that’s all I needed. A little supermodel push in the right direction. Hanging with her gave this Toronto basketball fan the confidence to walk up to Chris Bosh and ask for a photo!

Life coach lesson #2

Psychoanalyst D.W. Winnicott’s notion of the “good enough mother” has been taken up in many different ways across different fields (including by me in education). In a thoughtful opinion piece for the NYT Avram Alpert summed up the concept this way:

This mother is good enough not in the sense that she is adequate or average, but that she manages a difficult task: initiating the infant into a world in which [they] will feel both cared for and ready to deal with life’s endless frustrations.

ChangingMinds.org says, “The trick of the good-enough mother is to give the child a sense of loosening rather than the shock of being 'dropped.’” I absolutely believe this idea can be applied beyond parental and educational relations. It’s what Christy did for me. With her agent and with Chris Bosh she didn’t hold my hand, but she didn’t drop me either — a caring stance I strive to take on in all of my learning spaces, from secondary to higher ed to boardrooms.

Life coaches, like counselors and therapists, can provide guidance for the way we move through our day-to-day. And though I know Christy didn’t set out to provide any real guidance or care at that party she did for me. So I share this story in the hopes that my Turlingtonian/Winnicottian thought prompt might prove useful for you. That learning is ongoing, shows up in unexpected places and sometimes it helps to be held up by someone with a very long shadow.