I'm not sure how to feel. If I'm being honest, and I don't mind, I simply don't ask for help. Ever. I guess, early on, it was instilled in me by circumstances beyond my control the notion that no one cares and no one is coming to save me. I'm just on my own.
In fact it's even sorta mysterious as to how I write as the only thing that wills me forward is the belief that people will read my work long after I'm gone. It's actually sort of surreal to even entertain the notion that someone might want to read or care about anything I do or say presently. And this isn't impostor syndrome it's this deep seated belief that I'm essentially a ghost. A memory for future people.
But I do write. I do communicate. And sometimes...just sometimes....I do ask for something. But it's super rare. I DO desire to be part of a community. But honestly I couldn't tell you what community I belong to. Ha.
I've been working on a fictional world for 23 years now. And I've only just started sharing it. So, this is a big step.
May 29, 2023·edited May 29, 2023Liked by Natalie Davey
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about where I can direct my asks and with whom I can be my “authentic” self.
Being (too?) vulnerable is a lot to ask of ourselves in this world where, as you name, relationships get crumbly under the weight of our words.
I am asking nothing of the world today, but I appreciate you encouraging me to do so. I will sit with my needs and try to take a risk by asking for support --- because selfies are hard when your hands are already full!!
Sitting with your needs seems to me a very healthy way forward -- as you know of me, I have not always been able to name needs even to myself...so I say you are ahead of the game here!
I'm not sure how to feel. If I'm being honest, and I don't mind, I simply don't ask for help. Ever. I guess, early on, it was instilled in me by circumstances beyond my control the notion that no one cares and no one is coming to save me. I'm just on my own.
In fact it's even sorta mysterious as to how I write as the only thing that wills me forward is the belief that people will read my work long after I'm gone. It's actually sort of surreal to even entertain the notion that someone might want to read or care about anything I do or say presently. And this isn't impostor syndrome it's this deep seated belief that I'm essentially a ghost. A memory for future people.
But I do write. I do communicate. And sometimes...just sometimes....I do ask for something. But it's super rare. I DO desire to be part of a community. But honestly I couldn't tell you what community I belong to. Ha.
I've been working on a fictional world for 23 years now. And I've only just started sharing it. So, this is a big step.
So uh, I guess all that was to say. Um. Hi! Lol
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about where I can direct my asks and with whom I can be my “authentic” self.
Being (too?) vulnerable is a lot to ask of ourselves in this world where, as you name, relationships get crumbly under the weight of our words.
I am asking nothing of the world today, but I appreciate you encouraging me to do so. I will sit with my needs and try to take a risk by asking for support --- because selfies are hard when your hands are already full!!
I’m asking for a yes from a network. How’s that for vulnerable? Do you approve?:)
Sitting with your needs seems to me a very healthy way forward -- as you know of me, I have not always been able to name needs even to myself...so I say you are ahead of the game here!